Rehab
by CatchThatPrat
Summary: The kid had a problem, and it seemed to be Yao's job to make him realize that it had gotten out of hand. Something had to be done. But what? Mostly crack.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is my first posted fanfiction that's actually vaguely interesting! I kinda wish I could say it's my first, or that it's even my first Hetalia one, but I have some ignored projects that I started before this, soooo.... Hahaha screw that. Just enjoy it :D

Warnings: Interchanged country and human names, awkward moments, umm... Korea. Slight swearing? Pretty sure there was only one instance. There may be more. I don't know xD

Disclaimers: A) I do not own Hetalia. *cries in a corner* I wonder how much Himaruya would sell for... B) I do not own any countries mentioned. C) I do not own any games or computers or food mentioned. D) I'm not making fun of anyone here. Except perhaps Im Yong Soo.. nah jk xD I love that kid.

So go read it! Enjoy! Please!

* * *

**Rehab**

**Part One: Vitamin D Needed**

The door didn't open very easily. Once he got inside (after much doorknob-jiggling, pushing, and yelling), Yao noticed that it was because of the huge pile-up of empty take-out containers, pizza boxes, and jars of kimchi right next to the door. The stack had gotten so huge that it had toppled over, spilling across the floor and blocking the entry.

Not that the occupant of the room noticed. Or cared at all, for that matter.

Sitting in front of three large, glowing computer consoles, a dark-haired Asian boy munched on a box of Pocky without ungluing his eyes from the screens. The keys on his many keyboards clacked at the speed of light as small figures chased each other across a virtual arena. A stream of brightly colored sparks shot from one tiny person across the monitor and hit a larger… thing (Yao couldn't quite tell what it was… it looked like it was supposed to be a creature of some sort, perhaps?) on the other side. Yong-Soo sat up straight and yelled something along the lines of "Uri nara mansae!" before grimacing and pressing his hand to his back.

Yao sighed, and shook his head. He stepped over the molding pile and advanced toward his brother, calling out. "Korea, are you going to come out anytime soon, aru?"

There was no response. He supposed that was because of the gigantic pair of headphones, complete with a motif of the South Korean flag, which were covering his brother's ears. He stomped over and yanked them off his ears, ignoring the gasp of protest from Korea's mouth. "Yong-Soo! This is getting unhealthy, aru! Seriously, aru!"

"Ah, Aniki, what's up?" Yong-Soo blinked up at him, squinting.

Yao frowned. "What's up? 'What's up', aru? What's up is that you haven't left this room for at least three days!"

Yong-Soo looked a bit confused. "Three… days? Nah, it hasn't been that long, you're joking with me, da ze." He smiled again.

"I am most certainly not, aru! We thought you were dead or something!" He glanced back at the garbage dump by the door, and added "Except for the constant stream of take-out coming in, that is."

"Dead? I'm not.." Yao's brother glanced back at the screen, then did a double take. "Nooo!" He screamed. "No, you can't do that! I'm your master, you can't- UGYAHH!" He pounded his fist on the desk and glared at Yao. "Now I really am dead… it's all your fault, Aniki!" As Yao looked at him, perplexed, he slammed his forehead against his keyboard and moaned. "I was level 147 too… took me a whole week… A WHOLE WEEK to get this far! And you ruined it, you ruiiined it!" He started crying.

Yao was disturbed. Deeply, deeply disturbed. Almost more disturbed than the time he'd walked in on Kiku while he was getting ready for one of his little cosplay conventions… Almost. He really never wanted to see Kiku in a maid's outfit again, ever. He'd gladly rip out his toes instead. One by one.

He took another look at the sobbing Korean, then clapped his hands together. "Alright, aru! I'm calling an intervention, aru! For your safety, of course."

Korea looked up, then quickly started typing away again. "No, Aniki, I think… I think I may survive," he said dramatically. "I have another game save-"

_Blip_.

The multiple screens went blank. Yong-Soo's eyes went wide. "Wh- whaaaa?" He turned to see a frowning China standing behind his precious console set, holding an assortment of plugs in his hand, all of which were connected at one end to his computers and no longer connected to the wall.

A lightbulb went on in Yong-Soo's brain. "ANIKIII!" He bawled. "HOW could you DO this to meeeeeeee?" Tears filled his eyes as he stared at Yao, blubbering. "I had- I had a- I… WAAAHHH!"

Yao sighed. He'd been expecting something like this. "We haven't seen your face in over a week, and you haven't left your room to do anything for three days, aru. So we decided that something had to be done, aru." He looked at the Korean boy sobbing with his head in his hands, and stated bluntly: "Stop it. You'll get water on your keyboard, aru."

"It doesn't matter… it's all… it's all gone anyways… my game.. my babies… you destroooooyed it!"

"Sorry, aru. Can't you just start another one later?"

"That's not the point, Aniki… How could you do this to me?" He looked up at Yao with large, teary brown eyes.

Yao decided that enough was enough. "Alright, Korea, we're going, aru."

"What? No."

"Come ON, aru." He tugged on the boy's t-shirt. Yong Soo held onto the chair.

"No!"

"We're LEAVING, aru!"

"Noo! No! No, no, no no NO!"

Yao scowled and stuck his hands under his brother's armpits, forcibly hauling him out of the chair and depositing him on the floor. He was a lot stronger than he looked- being about 5'5" and 4000 years old, no one really expected much from him. Korea was surprised, but after being dumped on his bum he immediately crawled to the desk and latched on again, mumbling something about his children and stupid aniki.

"Aiyaaa, Yong-Soo, how long has it been since you've seen sunlight, aru?" Yao hitched up his sleeves, glared at his stubborn brother, and _pulled_. Again, not expecting the amount of force used, Korea was pulled of the desk and dragged kicking and wailing towards the garbage pile by the door.

Yao seriously considered dragging him through it.

But no, he was a nice Aniki, right?

Well… nice enough.

Yong-Soo blubbered and reached for a jar of kimchi that was only half eaten, holding it to his body like it provided some source of comfort as Yao dragged him down the hallway.

He kicked a door, and it opened. Hong Kong poked his head out, stared, then closed the door again. Yao could hear the heavy thumps of furniture and other heavy objects being thumped against wood. It sounded suspiciously like he was barricading the door. Yao didn't blame him.

When he thought about it, Yao really had no idea why he'd gone to such lengths to get Yong-Soo out of his room. The kid was annoying and loud, not to mention prone to molesting him and Kiku at random times. He claimed everything originated in him, he stole things, he ate too much kimchi than was good for him, and he was overly affectionate to _everybody_. Even Hong Kong. Yao did not want to know how that went over.

But for some reason, an Asia with Korea hiding in his room all day long playing video games just wasn't the same.

For the first week or so, when Yong-Soo had simply stopped following him everywhere, Yao didn't really mind. In fact, it was nice. And then he started disappearing and only showing up for meals. That also was nice for a while. But after that, when the only signs he was alive were the occasional flush of a toilet or sound of a shower, or the takeout people knocking on the back door, that's when it started to get weird. It felt funny.

Annoying as he was, Korea was a part of the family.

So he should act like one.

This was Yao's personal philosophy at the moment. He had no idea what Hong Kong thought, and Taiwan, well, she didn't care. She was too busy thinking about (and talking about, and bothering, and stalking, and- err, you get the picture) Japan. Who had in turn replied, when China had asked him, that he agreed, but perhaps not, and he really didn't know what would happen- or something along those lines. Something appropriately vague.

So Yao had taken matters into his own hands. These matters were currently holding onto the frame of the front door for dear life, babbling something in Korean and squinting against the light as Yao, who had wrapped his arms around his brother's waist, pulled very hard.

"Aiyaa, Korea, you are coming with me, aru, or so help me, I will-!" Ah. There we go.

A squeak from Korea as he let go of the door, an "Aiyaa!" from China, and a thud as they hit the ground with all the force that Yong Soo had been holding on with were the sounds that made themselves prevalent to the casual observer.

Who happened to be Japan, returning home from the supermarket with a bag of food.

"Wh-what is going on here?"

Why was Kiku's face upside down? And so flustered looking. And why did his head hurt, and why did he feel like he couldn't breathe, and why… Why was Korea on top of him?

Oh, this was awkward.

"Get off of me, aru!" Yao sat up and pushed the taller boy off of him onto the grass of their front yard, where he rolled to a pathetic, flopping stop.

"Yao-san, what just happened?" Kiku's face was a picture. He'd dropped his usual you-have-no-idea-what-I'm-thinking face in preference of a more emotional what-the-hell-did-I-just-see kind of face.

"Ah, Kiku, I put my plan into action, aru." Yao brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"Put your plan into… oh. That plan." Kiku raised his eyebrows. "And did it work?"

Yao looked over his shoulder, to where Korea hadn't moved an inch off the grass. "I don't know, aru. He did come out of his room."

Kiku glanced from Yong-Soo's prone form to Yao, and back again. "I think you may have killed him, Yao-san." He walked into the house, pausing to bow to Yao and Yong-Soo, giving the latter an odd look.

Yao marched over to the unmoving Korean and bent over him, peering. He'd covered his face with his hands and was just laying there shaking on the grass, the jar of kimchi beside him. "Yong-Soo? Are you… okay, aru?"

"Aniki…" Yong-Soo peeked through his fingers with as much drama as he could muster, his eyes wide and confused. He squeezed them shut again and rolled onto his stomach. "Too… much… sensory… input! The light, it buuuurns!"

Yao shook his head. Apparently he was still alive. That had to count for something.

"Are you going to just lay there all day, aru, or are you going to get off your ass and do something with your life instead of play video games?"

"But.. but.. video games originated in Korea, da ze."

Yao rolled his eyes. "Wasn't it actually America, aru? How long has it been since you've seen him- you guys are friends, right, aru?"

Korea frowned. "Yeah, it's been a while… but there was that time he dumped formalde-whatsit in my river…"*

"That's beside the point, aru. You need something to distract you from the computer, aru, so we're going to find something. How does a visit to America sound, aru?"

"Oooh… wait, he told me the other day that he had a new game he wanted me to try! Though I'm sure I've already seen it, whatever it is, because it probably originated in Korea. We should go-"

"On second though, that would be a bad idea, aru." As his brother whined and curled up into a ball on the front lawn, Yao wondered what a _good_ idea was.

* * *

*American soldiers really did dump formaldehyde in the Han river, if you didn't know. Wikipedia told me. *lives in a box*

So, what'd you think? Review and I'll love you forever!

Also, if anyone has any characters that they'd like to see me put in, I'd more than welcome suggestions... and I'd be highly entertained... This'll probably end up being total crack O.o So it'll be fun, whatever happens :D


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Woot, another chapter! Sorry for the slow update, I had stuff going on... and was procrastinating.. oh well.

I do not own Hetalia. I do not own any scones. And I don't own a car, either.

Random trivia: I read somewhere that when China is talking to England he says "ahen" (opium) instead of "aru". So I used that. Sorry for confusion xD

Enjoy!

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**Rehab**

**Part Two: Black Magic... scones?**

"Englaaaaand!"

England froze. He knew that voice. "What do you want, git?"

America beamed. "Can I borrow your car?"

England scowled. "Don't you have your own?" He folded his arms. Alfred was _not_ going to pull this again.

Said nation beamed. "Well, yeah, but it's back in America. And hey, I already dragged your car here, so can I just have the keys? Come on, pleeeease?" He pouted.

Arthur blushed. He had to resist. He had to resist. Even though the idiot had dragged his car all the way here, he had to resi- oh, screw that. He'd dragged his car all the way over here. Arthur sighed, and threw the keys at Alfred.

"Thanks! And don't worry about the car. I'm a hero!"

"On second thought, I-"

_Brrrriiiiing. Brriiiiiiing. Brriiiiiiing._

"Hey, oh, you should probably get your phone! Don't worry, I definitely won't drive it into a light post again, I'm just gonna go pick up Prussia. No harm done, ahahahahaha!" And America dashed out the door with his keys.

"What- Prussia- Light post- No! Get back here!"

_Brrriiiiiiinnggg._

England sighed, swallowed his anger at that stupid _idiot_, and managed to answer the phone politely.

"Hello?"

"_England! I need your help, ahen."_

".. China?"

"_Yes, ahen! I need-"_

"I thought you hated me, ever since the opium thing."

"_This isn't about me, though! I really, really need your help on this, ahen! I mean, you deal with America all the time, ahen, so you probably know what to do, and-"_

"What does this have to do with America?" Arthur was reminded of his car, and glanced out the window. He really hoped that the person driving down the wrong side of the road was _not_ his ex-colony.

"_You'll see. Can I come over?"_

"Well, if you must, I suppose I don't mind…"

"_Great, ahen. I'm bringing Yong-Soo."_

"You- you're what?" _Beeeeeep._ "Hello? Yao?" England looked at the phone. Dead. He shrugged, and meandered into the kitchen to put on the kettle.

"So. Tell me what this is all about, please." Arthur sat down across from Yao and Yong-Soo, crossing his legs in front of him and arching one rather prominent eyebrow.

Yao sighed, and related the whole story to Arthur. Yong-Soo fidgeted on the couch next to him. His eyes were bloodshot with big droopy bags underneath them, and he was hugging a jar of something or other to his chest, caressing it with his thumb. He didn't blink, just stared ahead of him like a zombie.

Arthur half expected him to get up and start wandering around looking for brains. He blinked the picture away- he'd been watching too many horror movies with Alfred lately. Really, that kid had horrible taste in films.

"- and so, he's now in some sort of weird withdrawal, ahen, and I can't get him to even _talk_. So I was thinking that maybe you had some sort of idea of what to do, ahen?"

England stared at him blankly.

Korea sighed.

The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland rubbed his face with a hand, and frowned. "Well… let's have tea."

Yao nodded. "Sounds good, ahen."

Approximately five minutes later the three of them were sitting around the same little table, this time complete with china teapot and steaming cups. China was attempting to pry the jar of unidentified substance out of Korea's arms, but the boy refused to let go. Even his usually energetic hair curl drooped.

"Was he like this the whole way over here?" England asked, staring. There was something seriously wrong with him.

"Well, no, ahen. He seemed perfectly fine and was just throwing a fit until we got on the plane, ahen. Then he kinda froze up and went into some sort of shock, I think." Yao shrugged, but worry was plain on his face.

Arthur though for a minute. "Maybe he's hungry," he suggested. "I think I have some scones left over from this morning…"

Yao paled. "Really, ahen? Ahaha… That… that sounds, um, wonderful, ahen." He coughed into his sleeve.

England smiled. "I'll be just a moment."

Great. England was going to get his scones. Did he expect Yao to eat any? Those things were like weapons of mass destruction. They could kill off entire populations, bring them back to life, and kill them again, just with their sheer grossness. The smell of them cooking probably woke the dead.

Korea stared like a zombie.

Woke the dead, huh…

Yao smiled.

"Come on, Yong-Soo, aru. Aren't you hungry?" Yao waved the platter of - burnt – scones in front of his brother's face. "You know you want some, aru.." He set the platter down, picked up a scone, and popped it in Korea's unresisting mouth. Nothing happened, so he grabbed the boy's chin and forced it up and down until he started chewing on his own.

England stared.

Korea slowly paled. He started coughing and choking, spluttering all over the table.

_Gulp_. He swallowed.

China stared, waiting. England stared, puzzled.

Korea took a breath. "S… scones… _definitely_ did not originate in Korea." He then closed his eyes and fell over, off the couch, and onto the floor.

China shook his head. "I guess the shock was too much for him, aru."

England still stared. "What… was that?" He looked at China. "Are my scones really… that bad?"

China only looked at him with pity in his eyes. "At least he talked, ahen."

England scowled. "You know what? He's obsessed with video games, you say?"

"Um, yes, that would be what I said, ahen."

"I'll fix him! Just you watch!" And England marched away, muttering something about his cooking under his breath.

China poked Korea, but he didn't move. Frankly, Yao wasn't too worried about him right now. The effects of Arthur's scones were quite poisonous, but he'd probably be fine. His reaction was just too funny… And he had made some headway. He'd talked. A silent Korea was almost as scary as a breast-claiming Korea. China shuddered.

A strange noise came from the next room over. How would you describe it… some sort of _poof_, maybe? Either that or a _phwat_. The noise plus the cloud of green smoke that wafted out the door made Yao very, very curious.

"I got it!" England dashed out the door, a mad smile on his face, his hair sticking up in random directions.

"You got what, ahen?"

"I got _it_! Here, help me drag Yong-Soo in there. I know how to cure him!" England grabbed Korea under the arms and started trying to pull him into the other room. China grabbed his feet and helped.

The floor of the next room was covered in a huge magical seal, drawn with chalk and glowing with some sort of ghostly luster. Candles were placed randomly around the otherwise dark area, flickering and adding strange shadows to the walls. England's grin got crazier as he and Yao deposited the unconscious Yong-Soo in the center of the star. They then retreated to the edge of the room, England taking a dramatic pose and opening a fat book, while China just stood there.

"What.. what are we doing to him, ahen?"

"Well, with this spell I can get him to stop loving his video games."

"Really, ahen?" China smiled, then stopped. ".. is there a catch?"

England coughed. "Well, due to the imbalance of energy and attachment once we take out the factor of the video games, he'll probably transfer his affections to something else."

Yao thought about this for a minute, then shrugged. "I guess anything is better than video games, ahen."

England nodded. "Shall we proceed, then?" He leafed through the book and paused on a dog-eared, weathered page. It was covered in strange symbols that Yao couldn't read.

"What should I do, ahen?"

"Uhh… just stand there, and don't get in the way." China nodded, and Arthur proceeded to chant. Strange words and sounds came out of his mouth, charging the air with electricity. The circle lit up, and Arthur gestured towards Korea dramatically. On England's final "_Abracadabra_!", the candles around the room extinguished themselves, and a wind stirred Yao's ponytail. Korea didn't move.

"Did it work, ahen?" China broke the awed silence to pieces with a wok.

England took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm not sure. Why don't we- Oh look, there he goes."

Korea was sitting up, an unreadable expression on his face. He glanced around the room, then got shakily to his feet. The circle had disappeared, and he trotted over to China, whow as standing by the door.

"Yong-Soo? Are you okay, aru?"

Yong-Soo paused, looking at China with puzzlement on his face. "I… I think so, yes."

"Oh, good, because I was kinda worried that Arthur would screw up the spell."

"Hey!" Arthur scowled. "I'll have you know that I've been practicing magic for more than 500 bloody years!"

China waved him off. "Whatever, ahen. Hey, Korea, where are you going, aru?"

Korea didn't bother turning around as he pelted out the door and down the hallway. China ran after him. "Korea! Wait! Where are you going?"

"I have to find him!"

What? China stopped. "What are you talking about, aru? Who?"

Korea didn't answer and slammed the front door behind him, his jar of kimchi lying forgotten on the floor.

England ran up beside China, panting.

"What happened, aru?" China was so distraught that he even forgot to remind England of the opium wars. "Something's wrong with him, aru!"

England sighed. "Yes, there is that side effect to the spell."

"What side effect, aru? Why did you not tell me about this, aru?"

"I did!" England defended. "I told you that his affections would be switched to something else!"

China frowned. Now that he thought about it, he did remember England saying something like that. "So he's run off after the object of his new affections, aru?"

England nodded. "Most likely."

China facepalmed, and slowly slid his back down England's wall until he was sitting on the floor. "It's starting all over again… only this time I don't even know what it is, aru! How am I going to find him, aru?"

England frowned. "I could try a locator spell-"

"No! Thank you, aru, but no. I've had enough of your spells today!" And with that, China ran out the door after Korea, resolving to find him however he could.

Unfortunately, it looked as if that would have to be the old-fashioned way.

This was going to be a very long day.

* * *

Reviews are love.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Sorry about the wait on this one, dear readers of mine. I got distracted… majorly. By random things including finals, writer's block, a certain city in a certain north-west-coast state of a certain United States of America, and Osamu Tezuka. Hopefully you don't all hate me by now, because I'm hoping to update a bit more quickly now that summer's here. Not setting anything definite, though, because I'm like the definition of Murphy's Law. And laziness. So yeah :D Enjoy.

Minor other news of late: I have a acquired a livejournal. I'm **vivarei** on there, so find me and friend me and I'll love you forever and ever.. I say that way too much xD So yeah, friend me, leave a comment and say you've read this story or summat. I enjoy talking to people, so yeah.

Anyways, OMG, third paragraph of author's note *gets shot* Sorry, y'all. Please enjoy this chapter as I really have no idea where I'm going with this story. :D

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**Part 3: Revelations  
**

Outside on the sidewalk there was no sign of Korea. The busy London neighborhood teemed with people, but nowhere in sight was there a hair curl or flapping sleeves. He was gone.

China stood there, looking around and panting for breath. How was he ever going to find his brother? Did Yong-Soo even _want_ to be found? China shook his head, refusing to consider the last option. Korea was just under a spell, that's all. That's all it was. Of course he would come home. It was just a spell.

Just a spell.

Yeah.

A hand on one of Yao's shoulders made him start and cry out, spinning around quickly to see-

"AAH! What are you doing here, aru?"

"Why, mon cher, I was simply enjoying the view when you fell out on the sidewalk in front of me!" France said, lowering his binoculars from the direction of England's bedroom window. "I am simply wondering if you are okay."

"Oh, well, that's… I'm fine, aru." Yao tried- unsuccessfully- to shake France's arm off his shoulder.

"Well, that's perfectly wonderful, and how would you like to take your fine self to some dinner with me, hmmm?" The arm shifted itself into a rather offensive position and pulled Yao closer in to Francis.

"N-no, aru, I'm good. Let go now."

"Por quoi? We can have... fun..."

"LET ME GO, ARU!" Yao shoved France away from him with as much force as he could manage, sending the blonde man sprawling on the street. He seized his chance and ran away. He couldn't afford any distractions- and damn, that Frenchman was creepy. Yao shuddered.

Down the street he ran, not knowing if he was going the right direction or not. He kept an eye out for Korea, but saw nothing more Asian than black hair in a café window. But that hair was straight and cut short, not crazy and longer like Yong-Soo's, and besides, the person looked more Japanese than Korean, really. In fact…

Yao slid to a stop, and backtracked to the café he had just passed. His eyes narrowed. He knew that person looked familiar…

Bursting in the café doors with a bit more gusto than was necessary, he ran up to a table by the window where his brother and another man were innocently enjoying their lunch.

"KIKU!"

Kiku looked up, surprised, from the cake he'd been sharing- _sharing_- with the man across from him. "Y-Yao, nii-san, what are you doing here?"

"That's not the question, aru! What are _you_ doing here?"

He looked down at his plate, at the person across from him, and back at Yao. "Eating."

"I can tell, aru! But why does it look like you're on a _date_, aru?"

Kiku sighed. "Because I am… I was going to tell you this, but.. You seemed busy. Heracles and I have been dating for a while."

Yao's eyes bugged out. "You're dating him, aru, and you didn't tell me?"

"Gomenasai.."

Heracles looked up from his side of the cake and surveyed the scene with sleepy eyes. "Well….. this isn't our first date… I'm surprised… you didn't notice it before. Is it a…. problem?" He yawned.

Yao put his face in his hands. "N-no… no, it's not, aru.. of course not…. Aiyaaah… Why does it seem like my family is falling apart, aru? Next Taiwan is going to elope with, with Austria or, or something! Aiyah!"

And with that, he turned and ran out of the café, pounding down the street with his Chinese-style sleeves flapping.

Kiku looked at Heracles. "I'm sorry about that… he can be a bit… oh.. I don't know…"

"Concerned…. about his family?" Heracles smiled his lazy smile.

"Well, I was going to say melodramatic, but that works too." Kiku laughed awkwardly.

Heracles nodded. "So where do you want to go now?"

China stopped and sat down heavily in the middle of a London alleyway, not too far from the airport.

He felt terrible.

Where had he been lately? He'd been too concerned with keeping his family together that he hadn't noticed each member start to go their own way. Kiku had a boyfriend, had _had_ a boyfriend for a while now, and Yao hadn't even known he was gay. Well, he'd expected it, what with the girly comics and the amount of time he spent with Elizaveta, but still. How could he have been so dumb? How could he have been so blind?

What else was he missing?

He put his head in his hands, curling over in the shadows. He wondered when the last time was he'd talked to Thailand, face-to-face. When he'd last tried to fix the rift between him and Taiwan. When he'd last sat down and had rice tea with Vietnam. He'd been so focused on the family as a whole that he'd forgotten about the individual members.

And then there was Korea.

Yao hit himself on the head with the heel of his hand. _Wake up_, he told himself._ You can still fix this. It might not even be as bad as you think. Right? Start with Korea. You can't just give up on the kid. Get up now and keep looking for him._

He pulled himself to his feet and took a breath. Hopefully no one had seen his little breakdown… nope, no one around. Trotting off, he rounded the corner and set off towards the airport. That seemed to be his best bet.

* * *

"Have you seen a Korean man go through here, aru?"

The bored customs official looked up at him. "Lots of Koreans going through here, love."

China frowned. He disliked being called "love". "Well, he was wearing a hoodie- did you see anyone wearing a hoodie, aru?"

She looked at him blankly. He sighed. "About _this_ tall, with a weird curl on his head, and a crazy expression on his face? Really loud? Orange hoodie with really long sleeves, aru?"

"Not ringing a bell, love." She looked him over. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

Yao scowled. "Stop calling me love, aru! And I'll have you know, I'm older than you are!"

"Sure… why don't you just find someone else to bother. There's a line behind you, and I have a job to do."

Yao stomped off, planning to call England up and complain to him about the lack of manners in his customs officials. Out the doors of the airport and past a large figure he stalked-

"Ah! China!"

And he stopped. Suppressing slight shudders as best he could, he turned around and looked up at the scarf-wearing figure now looming over him, smiling gormlessly.

_How could a smile so innocent be so, so scary?_

"R-russia… hello, aru…"

The smile widened. Yao cringed. "And what are you doing here on this lovely day?"

Yao looked around. He'd hardly call gray skies and threatening rain _lovely_, but compared to Siberia, he supposed anything was. "J-just, uh, looking for someone-" Shit, he hadn't meant to say that. Now Russia would want to _help._

"Korea? I just saw him, da."

"Eeeh? You did, aru? Where?"

"Right over there, getting on a plane." China looked in the direction he pointed, and saw said plane taking off. "Oops," Russia chuckled. "Looks like you missed him, da?"

China fumed. "What are _you_ doing here, anyway?"

The smile widened, and took on an even _creepier_ sheen. "Stalking you."

How do you reply to something like that? "AIYAH! What, aru? Why?"

Russia shrugged. "Because your plight amuses me. I love the way your face looks when you're contemplating suicide."

"What? I-I wasn't contemplating suicide! And that's creepy, aru!"

"Well, you looked like you were, da? Back in the alleyway over there." He laughed and pointed.

Oh. Someone _had_ seen him. China facepalmed. "That's _so_ creepy, aru…"

"It is one of my favorite pastimes."

"Great, aru."

Russia smiled and grabbed him by the hand, starting to walk back into the airport.

"Wh-what are you doing, aru? Let go of me!"

"I thought you wanted to find Yong-Soo, da?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"We're going to find him. I know where he was going, da." Russia looked down at him and smiled, tightening his grip on Yao's hand. "Isn't this fun?"

Yao was suddenly very, very scared.

* * *

**A/N #2:** Funny story. I actually own an orange hoodie with really long, flappy sleeves. It's a guy's hoodie that's like three sizes too big for me. But it was awesome, and on sale, so I got it :DD I enjoy running around yelling that it was made in Korea… then I found out it was made in China, and laughed my ass off.

Pointless story over now. Sorry that this chapter was a bit shorter than the rest. I'll try to make it up to you all with a quick update xP (Keyword: try.)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **And here I am with another update of this lovely story! Got a special for you all today- to make up for my super-long delay in posting last time (as well as the crappish chapter), I now present you with a longer chapter, slightly quicker update, and an OMAKE. Fun times. I'm not going to tell you what the Omake is about, though. Only that it was inspired by something someone said after reading chapter 2. Hope you all enjoy it.

* * *

**Rehab**

**Part 4: We Fly Like Paper**

He stepped off the plane into a cool breeze. It blew the hair off of his face and made his curl flap erratically around his head. Looking around, he sighted on a distant mountain, smiled, and ran for a cab.

He was on a mission, and no one was going to stop him.

"I think you can move over a bit."

"Hm?"

"You're too close. Move, please, aru."

"Oh? You mean, like this?" Ivan scooted towards Yao, a malicious smile on his face.

"That is NOT what I meant, aru." Yao squished himself closer to the window, trying to get as far away from the Russian man next to him as possible without throwing himself out of the window and plummeting 30,000ft to go splat in the picturesque European countryside.

Yao had reluctantly accepted Ivan's offer of help in his search for Yong-Soo, who had disappeared on a flight north some time previously. He'd been shown to the Russian ambassador's plane, which was slightly suspicious, and promised a comfortable, quick flight by the perky flight attendant (Russian), pilot (Russian), and Ivan (Russian). All the signs and pamphlets were in Russian.

It was a bit too much Russian for him. Frankly, he was rather scared.

The inside of the plane was very… posh, to steal a word from Arthur. Leather couches lined the sides, in a warm beige color that reminded Yao of Ivan's jacket, which he happened to be wearing. He blended in well. A flat-screen TV hung on one wall, and a table sat in the middle of the aisle (if you could call it that- it was more of a room). It wasn't huge, but the area was more than big enough for two people. Why Russia had insisted on sitting right-exactly-next to Yao and infringe on his personal bubble was beyond him.

"Are you comfortable, Yao?"

"Uhh… do I have to be honest, aru?" He squirmed.

The Russian man leaned on him. "Of course," he said, "if you really are comfortable. Otherwise, I would advise not." He smiled. "Are you sure you do not enjoy our proximity? I, for one, do."

"That's creepy, aru."

Ivan smiled. Yao knew he was in for a long, uncomfortable flight. He looked out the window at the green scenery miles below him. Europe was a very green place. It didn't compare to his rice fields, of course, but still. He'd like to find out what caused all the green-ness sometime. Maybe he could get Ludwig or Feliks to give him a tour (preferably sans the manicure, which would be included in any tour given by Poland, like, totally). Not Francis, though. Any trip with Francis was pretty much a request to be raped in a dark alley somewhere.

"Why are you looking for Korea?" Ivan broke the silence. "I do not see why you would want to, da."

Yao scowled. "He's my brother."

"So? I was under the impression that he was an annoying, stupid, arrogant brat who didn't know when to shut up."

"That doesn't change the fact that he's my brother, aru."

"I do not understand."

Yao looked up at him. "He's my little brother, aru! He's family! That means that, no matter how annoying he is, I have to take care of him, aru! Can't you understand that? Or does your family not work that way?"

Oops.

He'd gone too far.

Ivan's face darkened, his creepy smile shutting down on itself. He drew back, no longer squashing Yao into the wall. "No. It does not, seeing as how my older sister is afraid of me, and my younger sister is mentally unstable." He lapsed into a stormy silence.

"I-I'm sorry, aru…"

"There is no need for you to be sorry, da." He turned away, facing forward in his seat. Yao noticed his hands shaking.

"N-no, really, I said something tactless, aru."

Russia looked at him, actually looked at him, without a creepy smile or evil expression on his face. Yao wasn't sure what he saw there, but it was different.

Ivan sighed. "It does not matter. You wouldn't have known."

"Still..."

Ivan took a deep breath, and there was the smile back on his face. "Some people are luckier than others, da?"

Yao watched him turn back to happily describing the number of TV channels he could get in the air. He had an odd feeling, like he'd witnessed something rare and valuable. Something to be treasured.

He shook his head. This was _Russia_ he was talking about here. There was no way that anything else existed underneath that scary, icy exterior.

Right?

There was a house, and there was its door. It was a little house, and the door was painted an inviting shade of red. He hurried towards it, remembering to tip the cabbie. Up the walk and onto the porch he ran, pounding on the door.

Footsteps sounded behind it. A form approached, misty and colorful through the stained-glass window. The door was pulled open, and-

"You know, we have a doorbell, you don't have to pound on the-hey!"

He barged past the speaker, sleeves flapping wildly. The one he sought was here, somewhere. He just knew it. He could feel it in his heart.

Did this house have a back door somewhere, maybe? Ah, there it was. Small and inconspicuous, but through it, he would find the one he was looking for.

A shadow loomed over him. He looked up into the scariest face he'd ever seen, towering at least a foot over his own.

"'nd where d'y' th'nk y're g'ng?"

It was an obstacle. He did not like obstacles. This would have to be… dealt with.

"Russian TV is weird, aru."

"This is not Russian TV, da."

"Fine then, whatever kind of TV this is, it's weird, aru."

"It is Norwegian TV."

"We're over Norway?"

"No."

Yao sighed. They didn't seem to be going in any direction that he could surmise whatsoever. The plane had just meandered along, burning up it Russian fuel supply over the northern European countries. And Ivan still refused to tell him where they were headed.

"Well then, aru, where are we?"

"We are making a detour." Ivan smiled.

"A _detour_? What kind of detour, aru?"

"An unimportant one."

"So you're not going to tell me," Yao guessed.

"Correct, da."

Yao scowled. It was getting dark outside, they'd been on this plane for two thoroughly awkward hours, and he _still_ had no idea where they were headed. Korea was probably wreaking havoc wherever he was (another thing Ivan had refused to tell him), and Yao was stuck on a plane with an ex-Soviet madman.

"So, then, will you tell me how long this detour will take, aru?"

"Da." Ivan pondered this for a while as Yao waited. "The answer is, I do not know." He laughed.

China went from scowling to fuming. He was starting to think that Ivan had just dragged him onto the plane to get him alone or something- wait, wait, don't even go there. That was _so_ potentially awkward.

Ivan moved, and before Yao had time to react, his cheek was cupped in the Russian man's palm. "You know, you really are funny-looking when you are angry," he laughed.

"L-let go of me, aru!" Yao grabbed his hand and completely failed to make it budge. Ivan laughed harder and brought his other hand up to grab Yao's.

Yao did not like this at all. _Not. At. All._ Russia's face was too close to his by an extreme amount. He squirmed in his seat and tried to wriggle out of his grip, but the Russian was too strong. He was stuck.

"I do not think I have ever been in a situation like this with you before, China. "

_Damn right,_ Yao thought. "Y-yes, yes you are. Now please back off, aru."

Ivan laughed, and let go of his hand, which Yao snatched back to himself with as much speed as he could muster. Russia smiled at this, and took his hand from China's face in a much slower fashion. Yao was sure he was doing it just to watch him squirm. Ivan sat up and leaned back.

Yao unconsciously touched his cheek where Ivan had been holding it, and noticed that it was warmer there. It almost burned, but the sensation wasn't entirely unpleasant. He rubbed it a bit, then realized that he'd just thought and proceeded to chase down the offending brain cells responsible for it and execute them, one by one.

"That was fun, da." Yao looked up, about to protest, but Ivan cut him off. "We are landing, it seems."

Landing? "Landing where?"

"In Norway."

"Norway, aru? Why?"

Ivan smiled. "We are looking for Yong-Soo, da?" He stood up and stretched, looking about the cabin.

Yao stood as well and absentmindedly began combing his hair. "Yong-Soo is in Norway?"

"I do not know."

This caught Yao's attention. "What, aru? You don't know?"

"That is correct, da."

"What? Wait, what, aru? I thought you said you knew where he was headed!"

"I do. He was headed North." Ivan opened the door, and stepped out. "Norway is north of England, da?"

Yao ran after him. "Lots of things are north of England, aru! He could have gone anywhere! Why did you drag me all the way up here, aru?" He stepped out of the plane into a rush of cool, night air, Norway style.

"I was under the impression that you were looking for your brother. The usual way of going about this is to actually search, da? So we are going to go ask Norway if he has had a visitor."

Yao sighed. "Oh. Well. Alright, aru."

Ivan hailed a cab outside of the airport in Oslo. Dragging Yao inside, he directed the driver to a Norwegian address- Yao assumed it belonged to Norway himself, but couldn't tell, because it was all in Norwegian. The cab sped off through the city night, and Ivan settled back.

"I didn't know you spoke Norwegian, aru."

Russia smiled. "Well, you have learned something, then."

Yao laughed, then wondered why he did. It was true that he was much more comfortable in the northern nation's presence than he had been, but he couldn't pinpoint when the change had happened. He shook his head, making his ponytail swish around.

"Is something wrong?" Ivan's voice in the dark was soft and sounded genuinely concerned.

"No, aru. Just, uh, um… how long will this drive be, aru?"

"Oh, not too long."

The obstacle was proving harder to deal with than he had expected. It was large and powerful, and didn't really respond to anything he did. It just stood there, patiently blocking him no matter which way he tried to go around. He considered attacking it head on, but there were a few drawbacks to that- one: it was taller than him, two: it was stronger than him, and three: it didn't seem to care much.

Also, it was pretty freaking scary.

Through the fuzzy haze of the spell in his mind, Yong-Soo heard a voice behind him. "Su-san? What's going on? Who is that?"

" 't's K'rea, I th'nk."

"Korea?" The speaker was a small man, blonde and blue-eyed, wearing a beret. Korea felt he should recognize him, but couldn't think from where. It didn't matter, anyways. "What are you doing here?" it continued.

Korea didn't reply.

"Sweden… his eyes are funny. Look at them…"

A large hand grabbed his face, twisting it gently towards the scary giant. "Y're r't. Th'r's s'mthing wr'ng w' th'm."

"They're all cloudy." The small man sounded worried. "Do you think he's sick, or something?"

"D'nno. He did b'rge in h'r w' no expl'n'ng." The tall man let go of his face, and turned him around to face the smaller one.

"His facial expression doesn't change, either… um… Su-san? Do you think he's sick or something?"

"D'nno."

"I don't know either… I'll just, I'll just go… I'll go ask Norway. He should know, right?"

The tall man shrugged, and the smaller one ran off. Korea looked around. The house was small inside, and full of curious knick-knacks, but none of them interested him. He was only looking for-

Ah! The light of day shone upon Yong-Soo's clouded vision. There he was. Come to think about it, Yong-Soo wasn't entirely sure of his (or her, or its) gender, but it didn't matter. The one he had been looking for was right in front of him.

* * *

OMAKE: WHAT HAPPENED TO ENGLAND'S CAR

Ahh. This was the life. The top down, wind in his hair, and loud music blasting added up to the perfect combination this fine spring day. He drove along without a care in the world-

_HONK!_

-down the wrong side of the road.

"HOLY SHIT!" He hauled on the wheel, flying out of the path of the oncoming car- which, he noted ruefully, had the right of way."DAMN ENGLISH CARS! YOU AND YOUR UPPITY BRITISH WAYS!"

Smirking because he'd obviously had the upper hand in that argument (which there totally was, of course there was, really), America steered England's car to the right (left) side of the road and continued on his merry way.

Which was about to get much merrier. He'd recently discovered a friend in Prussia, the only nation he'd met who was as awesome as him.

Translation: Prussia was a good drinking buddy.

But obviously not a hero. Of course not.

And so, Alfred F Jones was on his way to pick him up. They were gonna have awesome fun, and probably be drunk by three in the afternoon, and it was all thanks to the wonderful, wonderful Iggy, who had so lovingly loaned him this car.

Shit, the car. The car. He had to be really, really careful with the car. And he'd just barely avoided getting hit, in this expensive British car that did not belong to him. He doubted Iggy would be very forgiving if his car was trashed. But hey, he was a hero. It wasn't going to happen.

America hummed a little song as he sped towards the ex-nation's house. He lived with his brother, that Kraut. The one who'd caused so much trouble sixty-some years ago. It was somewhere along this road here- yep, this was the one, and in he turned, up the driveway, stopping a mere six inches before the front of the expensive British car hit the (probably) expensive German garage door.

He jumped out and banged on the door. "OIII! Prussia, my man! Dude! Are you he- oheythere."

"Vat do you vant?" The person who opened the door wasn't Prussia, his buddy. It just _had_ to be his brother, of course. America had such good luck.

"Your brother."

Germany raised an eyebrow. "You vant my bruder? I vas under the impression that he, and you, vere straight…"

"WOAH. HEY. WAY TO TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY, DUDE." America waved his hands around. "Nononononono. We're going drinking."

"Oh. Of course." The blonde man turned and called over his shoulder. "Prueβen!"

Feet pattered down the hallway, and a small man with curly brown hair appeared around the corner. "Ve, Ludwig. Gilbert's asleep!"

"Feliciano." The German visibly relaxed. "He's still asleep? It's noon."

"Ve, really? Lunchtime! I HAVE TO MAKE PASTA!" Feliciano clapped his hands together, glomped Germany, kissed him on the cheek, and ran back off down the hallway before America had even fully processed his arrival.

When Germany turned back to him, his face was pink. It was now America's turn to raise an eyebrow, and the blush deepened. Damn it, thought America, stupid bastard can even look manly while _blushing_. But hey, I now know that he's gay. How interesting. He smiled.

"So, Prussia? Yes? No?"

Ludwig glared. "Ja, I'll get him." He headed off into the house, leaving the door open.

So of course, America wandered in after him. Germany's house was clean, almost to the point of being obsessive-compulsive. Though, when America thought about it, that really did describe Germany very well. He lingered in the hallway for a while before he heard footsteps pounding down the stairs.

Prussia rushed right past him before he noticed that America was there. "Woah! Woah! Woah!" He backed up. "How long you been waiting here?" Prussia, whether because he was an ex-nation or because he was just that cool, had less of an accent than his brother. America assumed they'd been spending too much time together.

"Not too long."

"Well, no need to wait anymore! THE AWESOME ME HAS ARRIVED!" And with that, a high-five, and a laugh from both of them, they ran out the door. England's fancy car was a marvel to Prussia.

"I never thought a prick like him would own something so cool." He rubbed his hand up and down the shiny hood.

"I know, right? Who woulda thought."

"Can I drive?"

"… No. England entrusted this car to me, mhm, 'cuz I'm a hero." America ignored the fact that Prussia was more used to European driving laws than him.

"So, you mean you just took it." Prussia laughed again. By this time, they were speeding down the lovely residential road at the ungodly rate of 80 mph, with the top down, of course.

"Damn right! He gave implied consent."

"Hahahahaaa! OH, the awesome me knows an awesome place to go drinking tonight."

"Tonight?"

"…Today. It's in Norway. Vikings really love their beer, almost as much as the awesomeness of awesome me and bruder."

That was a lot of awesome. "How did you find a bar in Norway? Isn't he, like, the other crazy fairy-lover?"

This entire conversation was being screamed over the wind, now rushing past at more than 100 mph. America was testing how fast the car could go before exploding.

"Denmark! That guy is crazy!" Prussia slapped Alfred's arm. "We should totally pick him up!"

"You sound like Poland!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Totally!" America laughed some more. "So, is Denmark on the way to Norway?"

"Yeah!"

"Right! Where's Norway?"

"…. Fucking American, you should let the awesome me drive!"

"No!"

"But I actually know the way!"

"So be the navigator! Heroes drive! Navigators…. navigate!"

"But I'm awesome!"

At that moment, a siren sounded far behind them. It was pretty far back, but gaining fast. "Is that… a police car?"

"Sounds like it."

"Are they after us, do you think?"

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Think I should pull over?" America asked. Prussia looked at him. On cue, they both started laughing, and America hit the gas some more.

"That might have been the funniest thing you've said all day."

Far behind them, in the city of London, a certain Englishman felt the horrible chill of dread creep down his spine.

* * *

**A/N:** You haven't seen the end of those two… they'll come back. Hence why I left the omake .. unended. Haha. Uhh, yeah. Anyways, reviews are love . Thanks for reading!


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